5 INNER DIALOGUES THAT TOOK PLACE IN MY BRAIN THIS WEEK: PART III
This week’s wisdom through observation is an ode to the thoughts that are left publicly unexpressed…until now.
- Who raised you? What on this green Earth gives you the right to steal from me in my absence? Have you not been taught restraint? Have you not learned the value of respect? Have you not been shown that it must be given to be returned? Whether it was my heart, the pieces of my refurbished sanity, or the snacks I had hidden in my desk, you should have asked me first. Ask me if I’m prepared to replace the things that you’ve taken from me. Ask me if I’m prepared to replace the things that you won’t. Ask me if those things even have replacements. What on this green Earth gives you the right to steal from me?
- Tell me. Tell me how good it makes you feel to share stories and images of your intimate life via group chat. Tell me how good it makes you feel to publicly sneer at someone that you once loved. Tell me again, how good it makes you feel to keep nothing sacred. Tell me. Does it make you feel good to hold no mystery? To claim someone’s sexual organs, or even worse, pass them on to your friend? How good does it make you feel to fabricate connections between other people just to create six degrees of separation? How good do you feel when those six degrees stamps the word [whore] on someone you know is nothing of the sort. When did you decide that it was okay to enlarge, highlight and sharpen someone else’s flaws and present them to a group of people? Was it when you realized you had nothing left to cover your own?
- “…Because love doesn’t make sense.” No. No, it doesn’t. “…it’s not supposed to make sense.” It damn well should. “There is absolutely nothing like making love to someone and being in the moment.” What if you’re making love to someone you don’t love? What if you’ve never made love to someone you’d give your life for? “…and then my virginity was taken from me.” No one should ever give their intimacy up for convenience. Especially not for the first offering. Especially if it’s not offered. “…so I sat them down and told them how changing this little aspect of themselves would better their whole lives. We have a much better relationship now.” What if that person chooses to be deaf and blind to what is right for them? What if your age is what covers their ears and closes their eyes? What if you’re “too young” to know any better than them? What then?
- It’s the same rain I once loved that drowned me. I can say a million things to keep you, but you would just continuously wash over me, stealing my breath in the least romantic ways. I went out on a limb for you simply because I was told that is where the fruit is. As I got closer, the bark got thinner and I noticed nothing but a rotting peach. I don’t even like peaches. The same person that wrote me love letters in ink made of shiny promises laid me down and never picked me up. And here I lay. Watching you, watching me, watching you.
- It is crazy to think that a being of the same anatomical structure can have control over you. That someone of the same mental capacity can have a grasp on everything that you do. That regardless of how many times someone has hung up the phone on you, you would still answer your phone if you know they were on the other end. That even in the face of how much ridicule you have endured, you still respect them. That in spite of their lack of any type of true expression of affection, you still love them. Unconditionally, even when there should be nothing but conditions.